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21 Essential Qualities You Need in a Partner Before You Commit to Them

​Some relationships last and others are doomed to failure. ​ Breakups, separations and divorces are common place these days.  This can take a severe emotional toll on you and be heart breaking, leaving your life literally upside down.  And when there are children involved it makes it more complicated and even worse.


Nothing sours more quickly than a relationship if you can’t depend, support and count on each other.

So, how do we know when we’ve found the right partner for us in life? 

Is it based on love, chemistry, friendship, character, religion, goals or respect? 

Is it based on some other intangible, like gut feeling? 

A lot of us don’t really know and don’t have the answer because we’ve thought we have found the right partner, only to be wrong and to have found out when it’s too late. 

Well, numerous successful relationships have shown that for life long partnerships to succeed, you need to have a good amount of all of the following qualities in the person you choose.

1. Trust

Trust is the foundation of a relationship.  All relationships are built on trust. Without trust, you have nothing.  It is the single most important factor for success in a relationship. 

You must to be able to trust your partner and your partner must be able to trust you.  With trust you know you can always count on your partner to be there for you no matter what.

2. Respect

Having respect for your partner shows your appreciation, admiration and recognition of their self-worth.  It is shown by your kindness, caring, consideration and thoughtfulness towards your partner and their feelings. 

Respect will help you get through your relationship’s challenges.  It is crucial for building strong, long lasting, healthy relationships and true lasting romance.

3. Fidelity

It is important to be faithful and there be fidelity in a long term relationship.  Trustworthiness and being true to your partner is key to having it last.  Dependability is crucial for you to be able to count on each other. 

Being faithful and committed shows your character.  Having a stronger spiritual bond and sharing these beliefs will only strengthen your relationship.

4. Character

Having similar character traits are extremely important in a long-term partnership.  Your character is shown by your behavior, actions, words and personal value system. 

Strong character is comprised of a variety of qualities.  These include honesty, integrity, commitment, decency, compassion, empathy, generosity, thoughtfulness, patience, dependability, responsibility, sincerity, genuineness, loyalty which are all important for a relationship to not only survive but also to endure, strengthen and flourish.  

5. Integrity  

Always stay true to your word.  Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be unwavering.  Never backtrack or waffle.  

Having the ability to always be honest not only with yourself but with others and each other is a sign of a healthy relationship where there is no room for games to be played about your wants or feelings.

6. Commitment

​For a relationship to work you need a mutual high level of commitment.  Both partners have a duty, obligation and the responsibility to make the relationship work.

Remember, you only get out off what you put into a relationship.  Mutual work, effort and dedication is a ​ requirement​ for any long term relationship to work.

7. High Self-Esteem

​Love yourself.  Respect yourself.  Stand up for yourself.  Take care of yourself.  Believe in yourself.  Value yourself.  Feel good about yourself.  

Someone who loves themselves, feels good about who they are, takes care of themselves, feels self-worthy and doesn’t allow others to mistreat or walk all over them like a doormat, is someone who will be a good partner for anyone.  

8. Maturity / Responsibility

​Have the maturity to be responsible for your actions, behaviour, choices, decisions and everything you do in life.  Take ownership.  Don't blame, make excuses or rationalize.  

Be financially responsible, take care of your family, nurture your relationships and friendships, keep a loving home and take care of each other.  

Keep your word, be punctual and don't let people down in your lives.  And lets not forget respecting your boundaries, values, feelings and time.

​9. Friendship 

Friendship in a relationship is based on mutual respect, the fun and enjoyment shared and your shared values.  Valuing and deepening your friendship will increase your commitment, love and intimacy. 

Freely giving of yourself to one another will help ensure a successful relationship.  So always be friends first.

​10. Communication

A strong relationship thrives on the free and open communication of ones feelings, beliefs, opinions, ideas, emotions, dreams and desires.  Good two way communication requires a significant effort, effective listening and active involvement by both partners. 

It helps to be emotionally responsive to your partners needs which will help make them feel important and special.  Master the communication process in difficult times and you’ll come out stronger for it. 

11. Faith

Your faith in general and spiritual outlook on life is essential in difficult times, when you have no control over life’s challenges. 

Your belief in God or a higher power can provide you with hope and a light at the end of the tunnel in desperate times.  

It helps to overcome difficult times if you share the same religious/spiritual views & values and have strong faith.

​12. Emotional Openness

Share yourself with your partner and them with you. ​  Never close yourself off or shut yourself down.  Wear your feelings on your sleeve like a badge of honor.  

Be emotionally open, vulnerable and available in a strong, positive way.  Be emotionally there for each other at all times.  

Being aware off and having the ability to freely express yourself and share your feelings with one another is the sign of a strong relationship where emotional intelligence is an important part of your partnership.

13. Be a Giver

Be thoughtful, considerate off, respectful and generous to your partner.  ​Being sincere, genuine, caring and putting them ahead of yourself and having a pure heart of gold goes a long way in a mutually fulfilling relationship.  Be a thoughtful, considerate individual who has a giving heart and is a giver instead of being a taker.  

14. Positive Attitude Towards Life

When you think positively about life and all that life has to offer, all problems, challenges and obstacles can be overcome.  Everything is based on how you think and your attitude.  Working together you can overcome all setbacks in life. 

Someone who views problems as challenges, focuses on solutions instead of problems, turns obstacles into opportunities, tackles challenges head on and sees the good in people and situations is the type of partner that will make life easier to live.

15. Personal Growth

Be open to growth, knowledge and ideas.  Expand your thinking.  Be committed to growing, developing and evolving as a person on a daily basis. Constantly nurture a growth mindset.

Don't be stubborn, limit yourself, become set in your ways and get stuck with a fixed mindset.  Never ever limit yourself and how you think. 

Eliminating emotional baggage, working on weaknesses, having personal goals for self-improvement and learning how to be a better person, growing and evolving as a person will only contribute positively to your relationship.

16. Life’s Ambition

It’s important to share the same relative life-long ambition and goals for you to plan and dream together.  It helps to have a shared vision, common purpose and passion as to what you want out of life. 

You need this common bond to support, encourage and be there for each other.  Without this you will be going in different directions pulling apart instead of working together as a team.

​17. Love

Love is all encompassing.  Unconditional love is accepting your partner’s faults and weaknesses.  It is loving them for who they are as a person.  Love can fade away but also can grow stronger with time. 

Being and staying in love is dependent on all of the other qualities and values that you share with your partner. ​  Your love for one another can deepen, flourish and endure when you consistently work at it together as a team.     

18. Sex

Having the same views towards sex, intimacy and pleasure means you are both sexually comfortable with one another.  It all starts with your brain and your mind. 

Your shared values, feelings and emotions towards one another will reflect the degree of intimacy you will be able to achieve together.

Talking things through helps to avoid a disconnect.  Fulfill each other’s emotional needs and your love life will flourish.

​19. Sense of Humor 

A sense of humor can be a tremendous asset to a relationship.  Being able to laugh at yourself and at situations in life will help you maintain a proper perspective while dealing with delicate, sensitive issues that arise from time to time. 

Partners who still have their inner child in them often resolve potentially difficult situations through humor.  A good dose of a healthy sense of humor can undoubtedly ease tense moments that arise in a relationship. 

20. Money

Your ability to be on the same wavelength and having the same philosophy as your partner regarding money goes a long way in a relationship.   How we view money can either cause distress in our relationships or it can enhance them.       

Everything from how we think and talk about money, the importance we place on it, how we treat it in our lives relative to really living life, to our spending habits, our ability to budget, save, invest and plan for the future will have a significant impact on our relationships. 

21. Family Life

Commit to your partner, your home and your new lives together.  Live your new life with all your heart, soul and being.  Be more open and available in your new relationship.    

Get out of your system hitting the bars, late nights out and being drawn to night life.  Be more responsible and settle down for family life at home.


No one is perfect.  Every one of us has our own weaknesses and faults.  The closer you come to finding the person who has all of these essential qualities, the greater the chance you’ll have at a successful, long-term relationship with your life partner. 

The important thing to remember is to choose someone based on something you know will last.

Thank you for coming by.  If you enjoyed this post, ​please help me out and spread the word by sharing it with others.  Every share, like or tweet enables me to reach more people, just like you. Your kindness is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much !


​Does your partner have all of the above qualities?  Which ones are they lacking?

What have your experiences been when committing to a long-term relationship?

​Did you find the right person or end up regretting it?

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About the Author Mark Blaise

Mark Blaise is an idealistic, socially conscious content creator on a mission to raise people’s awareness while promoting social justice for all. He enjoys curating and writing inspiring and thought provoking posts on social issues, The Golden Rule, personal growth and other amazingly helpful "stuff". His goal is to inspire you to grow and to be a better person by spreading more kindness, showing more compassion, doing unto others, giving back, contributing and helping make the world a better place, while living a truly happy, more fulfilling and inspired life.

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