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Ivanka Goya All Beef Kosher Salami

Ivanka “Wanker” Trump’s New Product Promotion in Pictures. Really?

So it looks like Ivanka "Wanker" Trump is at it again.  Like her Douchebag father, she's shameless.  Once again, she's promoting another Goya product.

This time it's a Goya 100% Grade A, USDA inspected, all beef, smoked, super smooth, extra girthy, kosher salami she's very appropriately nick named "Tall Boy".

She likes riding her "Tall Boy" all night long.  It's from her personal, sex toy collection on her bedside nightstand.

Ivanka Wanker Goya Boya! 

That's one Bigly, Yuge Salami!


Here below, is the very first Goya product Ivanka Wanker promoted and took a lot of flak for it, for violating ethics rules that bar government officials from using their public office to endorse specific products.

Ivanka Goya Beans

The word is she did such a good job as Senior Advisor to her father, President Douchebag, promoting his Central American child incarceration policies, that she would be a natural to promote a gaseous can of Magic Mexican farting beans.

Ivanka Goya Child Incarceration

Then she got a brilliant idea only Ivanka Wanker could have.  Why not cross promote the two.  You know, we can feed the Central American caged up children Magic Mexican Goya farting beans.

Ivank Trump - Goya Incarceration

Maybe, she thought, those tasty, delicious Magic Goya farting beans would help stop those whiny lil' cry baby, Central American children from crying, just because they were separated from their parents and locked up in cages.  They're Magic after all. 

Ivanka Trump Goya Child

After all, those magic beans really had her farting in bed the other night.  She let loose some really loud, stinky pooh ones, which adding a lot of excitement to her love making and just simply drove Kushy wild in bed with unbridled passion.

All that gaseous non stop power farting in bed to excite Kushy severely affected her brain.  So Ivanka Wanker decided to go to the MAGA brain store and get herself a brand spanking new, install it yourself new and improved brain.

Ivanka Trump - My Brain

It seems like Ivanka Wanker has decided to take this product promotion thingy one step further.

To replace her failed business venture selling her super expensive, un-affordable designer clothes, shoes, jewelry and purses, she has come up with a seemingly brilliant, ingenious idea, only an unscrupulous, lying, cheating, thieving, sleazebag con artist would pursue.

So she first decided to promote the spread of the cute and cuddly, fuzzy lil' corona virus by not wearing and not promoting the use of face masks, not staying at home or embracing social distancing.

Ivanka Trump - Corona Virus

Then she was opportunistic, played both sides of the fence by jumping on the bandwagon and promoting her father's "I'm like really smart, a very stable genius" idea of ingesting disinfectant to cleanse the body of the Corona virus.  

Introducing Clorox Cola.  Light, refreshing and tastes great.  Better than Coke, no match for Pepsi, new and improved Clorox just hits the spot.

Ivanka Trump - Clorox Disinfectant Ingestion

Then she came up with an even more brilliant idea to help her father to get re-elected.

It's all part of her bullshit "Find Something New" - as in a job/start a business - online campaign she's promoting to the millions of unemployed Americans caused by her fathers disastrous, mis-handling of the Coronavirus outbreak.

Inspired by the Goya 100% Grade A, USDA inspected, all beef, smoked, super smooth, extra girthy, kosher salami AKA "Tall Boy", here's the "Find Something New", new product Ivanka Wanka is promoting to make a quick, fast and easy buck these days.  

Can you guess what it is?

Of course you can.  

It's an official, life like President Donald "Douchebag" Trump branded Daddy Dildo! ... available on the Trump MAGA web site along with the rest of their crass MAGA promotional products.

Introducing "Who's your Daddy?" Dildos by Ivanka. 

So ... WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!?!?!

Who's your Daddy tonight?  (hint: Donny Daddy Dildo)

Now you know who your real Daddy is ...   

... or if you just simply prefer the regular, run of the mill, ol' fashion, kind of Dildo, Ivanka Wanker's got them too. 

Ivanka's Dildos

That's right, you saw it here first ...

"Tall Boy" vein poppin' Who's your Daddy Dildo's? ... by Ivanka. 

Kinda has a nice ring to it.  

Real classy.


So, do you have a Goya Boya 100% Grade A, USDA inspected, all beef, smoked, super smooth, extra girthy, kosher, "Tall Boy" salami on your bedside nightstand? 

Do you ride it all night long?

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About the Author Mark Blaise

Mark Blaise is an idealistic, socially conscious content creator on a mission to raise people’s awareness while promoting social justice for all. He enjoys curating and writing inspiring and thought provoking posts on social issues, The Golden Rule, personal growth and other amazingly helpful "stuff". His goal is to inspire you to grow and to be a better person by spreading more kindness, showing more compassion, doing unto others, giving back, contributing and helping make the world a better place, while living a truly happy, more fulfilling and inspired life.

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Raymond Whiteway-Roberts says

I think you have some funny and thought provoking materials here. Hope I get to see more of your personality at some point.

    Mark Blaise says

    Thanks Raymond. Good to hear you enjoyed some of my posts. As to seeing “more of my personality”, well, what you see is what you get. It basically comes out in my posts.

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